Buying toilet paper is such a drag.
First, there's the fact that there are about 400 different brands that all look identical but, when it comes to doing your business, turn out to be wildly different and you can never remember if it's the brand with the puppy or the teddy bear that doesn't immediately disintegrate in your hand upon coming in contact with moisture.
There's also the annoyance of having to admit that you're a human being with a body that necessitates toilet paper and, due to the bulk of its packaging, you have to publicly declare this fact to the world as you walk home from the Sainsbury's Local, a 12-pack of loo roll tucked under your arm like a giant billboard that says HELLO I POOP.
Then there's the packaging. Why does something made of paper need to be wrapped in plastic? And if you take it out of the packaging and store it in, say, the airing cupboard, the unused rolls seem to act as lint magnets.
All these v shitty problems are addressed by my new ride-or-die loo roll company, who gives a crap. Last month, I ordered a box of 48 rolls which were delivered directly and discreetly to my door two days later. The packaging is adorable, keeps the cat hair away, and is totally recyclable. The company puts sustainability first and all their toilet paper is made out of recycled paper. Aaaaand they donate 50% of their profits to help build toilets for people who need them.
I've literally never felt so good about having a poo-ing and pee-ing human body. And announcing it to the world! Seriously. Get this stuff on your butt ASAP.